Fascinating: The Art of
Curious Disagreement

Ami Vora

Chief Product Officer, Faire
Former Head of Product, WhatsApp & Facebook Ads

LENNY'S PODCAST

Core Framework

The "Fascinating" Mindset

"It's fascinating that someone could look at the same meeting I was in and walk away with a totally different narrative. Isn't that surprising?"

Say "fascinating", and mean it from your core
The pause is the technique: body calms, mind opens
Reframe the visceral reaction as a chance to learn, not a threat to shut down
Every person in the room knows something you don't, yet

The Deeper System

Ego vs. Outcome, and the Feedback Loops That Change You

"I was letting my ego overtake my desire to get to the best outcome, which is a silly trade-off and an unnecessary one."

The Feedback Loop Be curious → learn something new → reach better outcome → other person feels better → you feel better → repeat. The positive feedback far outweighs the desire to be right.

Why curiosity unlocks growth

Other people hold information you don't have, ignoring it is a strategy tax
By deciding you already know, you cut yourself off from learning what others do best
Assuming everyone knows something you don't makes every meeting interesting

Boz (CTO of Meta) on Ami

"She could have the most profound disagreement in the world with somebody and respond, 'Fascinating, you have to tell me more why you think that.' And she meant it from the core of her being. Embracing curiosity in those moments of challenge completely changed my life."

The "fascinating" caution

Ami had to use a thesaurus, when she kept saying "fascinating," people learned it meant she disagreed. The word works only when the curiosity is genuine.

The Playbooks

Dinosaur Brains, Hill Climbs & the Coat of the Job

🦕 The Dinosaur Brain

Executives can hold ~3 facts at once. Their value is pattern matching across breadth, not going deep on your data. The PM's job: make a recommendation, don't just present information. Give the dinosaur brain a clear conclusion to react to.

"The best service you can do is do the work of making a recommendation. That's how we're complementary."

🧥 Put On the Coat of the Job

Don't run spreadsheets on career decisions, wear the job imaginatively. Ask: What would I think about on my commute? Who would I have lunch with? Do I feel lucky to be there? The emotional response is more predictive than any five-year plan.

⛰️ The Hill Climb (Local vs. Global Optimum)

You're at the local optimum, it feels like success. But the mountain is visible in the distance. The valley between is painful. What gets you through: remembering what the summit feels like.

"The thing that gets me through the valley is remembering what the summit feels like."

🌅 The Dolores Park Analogy

When aligning product feel, find a shared metaphor: "We all agreed the feeling should be, I'm sitting in Dolores Park with my friends on a sunny Saturday." Teams will then build something consistently good without being told how.

Execution > Strategy

Culture Eats Strategy. So Does Shipping.

"If you have perfect strategy but poor execution, you don't win, and worse, you learn nothing. You can't tell if it was your strategy or your execution that failed."

Spend ~20% on strategy, ~80% confirming it with real customers and shipping
Good-enough strategy + great execution = a learning machine that converges on winning
Strategy is only useful if it changes your team's behavior to create better customer outcomes
Even senior execs should stay close to customers and unblocking teams, not just visioning
Execution is unglamorous: bring the donuts, fix the bug, rewrite the spec

Ami's strategy unlock Confidence in strategy came from talking to specific customers until she could build an emulator, a "customer on her shoulder" she could consult when making decisions.

Contrarian

Ami Vora's Counterintuitive Takes

✗ Having a career plan is what makes you successful INSTEAD → ✓ Tear up the spreadsheet. The thing that predicts success is walking through the door feeling lucky to be there, not executing a five-year plan.

✗ Present all the data so executives can make the right call INSTEAD → ✓ Executives have dinosaur brains, they hold 3 facts. Your job is to make a recommendation. Give them a clear conclusion to pattern-match against, not a data dump.

✗ Senior leaders should spend most of their time on strategy and vision INSTEAD → ✓ Even CPOs should spend the majority of time on execution, unblocking teams, staying close to customers, and improving the shipping machine. Strategy is ~20%.

✗ When you disagree strongly, push back clearly and decisively INSTEAD → ✓ Say "fascinating, tell me more." Then pause. The visceral reaction is your cue to open up, not shut down. You'll reach better outcomes AND you'll learn something new.